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This story reminds me of many “the fish that got away” tales told by folks around the globe. Here’s a great example from Texas Ranger Dutch Hoffmann that the sarcastic nature of the human race and the exaggeration of events for the amusement of others has remained unchanged through history. Although many letters of this kind can be found this one made me laugh and I thought it worth sharing. In some of his writings and letters pertaining to the movements and actions of Johnston through Tennessee, Hoffmann writes (in a wonderful humorists style) about the spring thaw and the effects of it. The rather lengthy but very humorous letter is addressing simply “Dear D”.
April 4,1862
somewhere north of Corinth, Mississippi
“…Oh, glorious springtime! The last cold and frosty traces of Old Man Winter are being melted away by the sweet warm breath of Mother Nature as she whispers the word "Spring." The birds are singing their lilting songs, and the trees are beginning to leaf out in dozens of delicate shades of green. But while we are celebrating all these wonders of nature, let's not forget about the MUD! I think I have experienced every variety it has to offer. brown mud, red mud, gray mud, black mud, wet mud, dry mud, and suck-your-shoe-off-your-foot mud. mud all over my pants and boots, mud in my food, and mud in my water. My blankets are so stiff and caked with dried mud that I can throw them across a streambed and walk across them without even getting wet! I've seen mud so deep that guns sink to their axles, mules completely disappear, and entire columns of men vanish without a trace. Why, just the other day I found a solitary musket stuck straight up in the mud alongside the road and when I tried to pull it out, I found an infantryman attached to it! He wryly informed me that he was just using it to mark his place until his comrades returned with a rope to extract him.”
April 4,1862
somewhere north of Corinth, Mississippi
“…Oh, glorious springtime! The last cold and frosty traces of Old Man Winter are being melted away by the sweet warm breath of Mother Nature as she whispers the word "Spring." The birds are singing their lilting songs, and the trees are beginning to leaf out in dozens of delicate shades of green. But while we are celebrating all these wonders of nature, let's not forget about the MUD! I think I have experienced every variety it has to offer. brown mud, red mud, gray mud, black mud, wet mud, dry mud, and suck-your-shoe-off-your-foot mud. mud all over my pants and boots, mud in my food, and mud in my water. My blankets are so stiff and caked with dried mud that I can throw them across a streambed and walk across them without even getting wet! I've seen mud so deep that guns sink to their axles, mules completely disappear, and entire columns of men vanish without a trace. Why, just the other day I found a solitary musket stuck straight up in the mud alongside the road and when I tried to pull it out, I found an infantryman attached to it! He wryly informed me that he was just using it to mark his place until his comrades returned with a rope to extract him.”
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