Campaigner needing help

[M_Kupsch]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Troy,

I understand where you were coming from, but this young man belongs to a very high quality mess, and is not of the mainstream ilk. There have been many gentlemen out there that have included their girlfriends, spouses, etc into the authentic venues. Take Pat Landrum and Liz Warnick as an example.

And even if this young man was a mainstreamer, kind and sagely advice might be the needed spark to see the light of authenticity. How do we expect those that are mainstreamers to progress forward if we slap them down when they seek guidance? Oh I know, I have seen some mainstreamers come on here and post some dandies, and you just want to scream. Since we have only the written word here, and can't hear the author's voice or facial expressions, what we write can be interpreted totally out of context of what we were trying to communicate.

[Possum]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Thank ya'll for the kind words. I'm just trying to do things right, ya know? Is asking for a little help such a bad thing?

[ElizabethClark]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Rocky, it's not a bad thing at all. I know that a good lot of the male members of the forum never, ever, ever venture over to the Citizen Discussion side of things--though all are welcome--and so don't realize that there are literally hundreds of discussions previous that can be very, very helpful when an interested Beloved One wishes to get involved in the hobby. There's enough of an archive that just about any search term will yeild a lot of results. For a fast overview, do read (and have your Beloved read) the "Adventures in Women's Underwear" article, and then start plugging search terms into the engine here for good background introductions to just about any aspect of a citizen's impression.

One thing she'll want to be aware of (and Mrs Lawson will help with this tremendously) is that in history-heavy settings, event weekends are rarely a time of relationship bonding, because the military fellow is off with the military, and the citizen Beloved is with the citizens. One fix is for the military fellow to buckled down and stretch himself--undertake a citizen impression at least 2-3 times a year. It's very instructive.

[AZReenactor]

A mere personal observation

Rocky,
No, asking for help certainly isn't a bad thing. I just want you to realize what you are getting yourself into here. It sounds like you are well on your way as an authentic military reenactor and you need to be careful going down this road.

That other hobby is filled with family camps full of wives and girlfriends who have "tagged along" without any real commitment to living history. Invariably these folks get bored sitting around with nothing really to do and end up handicapping mainstream military units by taking over cooking and management tasks within the unit where they have taken up residence. For the average mainstream military reenactor there is nothing to do but sit around and wait for the next scheduled battle; for the typical mainstream civilian reenactor there are no battles and they are merely waiting for the next fashion show, tea party, ball, or meal to break the monotony. Some of them actually get interested in history and even excel in their impressions but the system they find themselves in too often hinders them from actually living history an authentic manner.

It isn't long before many fellows in your situation find themselves moving from a dog tent to a wedge tent to make his significant other more comfortable and have room to change. Then comes a wall tent and fly so she can set up a sort of house with several of the furnishings of home. At some point children come along and the fellow finds himself asked to help share the burden of managing them and a household and, if she isn't already living in the military camp, he's running off to the civilian area between battles. The military authenticity standards that inconvenience the wife and family by not allowing them in camp or requiring you participate 24/7 for the weekend become an object of contention and you find yourself asking the unit to lighten up, at least a little, just to avoid marital discord. Before long your spending weekends in an RV or at a motel with the wife and kids rather than spooning with your comrades in the cold. :wink_smil

Don't get me wrong, I am in no ways opposed to civilian reenactors, they are absolutely vital to authentic living history. While military maneuvers may have grabbed the headlines of the day, the real story is about how an entire nation coped with the War Between the States, not merely the military forces in some sort of imaginary vacuum. The armies moved through areas where families lived, the soldiers thoughts were invariably about home and the health and welfare of their families, it was families at home who shared the daily sufferings and anxieties of being forcibly separated from loved ones, and it was families who truly mourned their individual loss on battlefields where thousands at a time were slaughtered. The civilian side of the story is incredibly rich and interesting and far too unexplored. The hobby needs more civilians, but it needs civilians able and willing to accurately help tell that story, not merely tag along and wait on or for the soldiers who are away for three battles a day.

Ok, I've rambled on about this topic near enough. That your girlfriend is interested is great, but don't sell her or yourself short by merely dressing her up and letting her tag along with you to streamer events and sharing a dog tent with you. Help her, encourage her, motivate her, but above all realize that she is setting out to discover a hobby of her own that in the end may far outshine anything you can do as a member of the military rank and file...

[Curt Schmidt]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Hallo!

IMHO, there are three tensions or "dynamics" at work here:

1. "A Web Site for the Authentic Civil War Living Historian." Even in the Kinder, Gentler Era of the AC Forum, the Forum was not designed with the "beginner in mind."
Sometimes, as in the case of "getting to college," there are "prerequisites" and course requirements one best learns coming up through the educational system. Meaning, and not being elitist, snooty, snarfy, etc., etc., somemtimes Elementary School and Middle School questions are best asked and answered in Elementary Middle School and not College or Graduate school.
And sometimes, some questions are best asked and answered on boards and fora more "suited" to them, and/or by the benefits of mentoring versus
posting.

2. Board and fora posting is an imperfect form of communication because there is what:

a. I thought I said
b. what you thought I said
c. what I really said

all mixed in WITHOUT the luxury of being able to see face-to-face and hear for ourselves tone, pitch, inflection. volume, gestures, facial expression, and body language clues we have "in person."

3. There is a harder line between being a poster and a moderator, and we all bring our previous experience and experiences with us when reading and responding to postings and questions.
And we, as posters and/or moderators, do not always have the luxury of knowing beforehand who is either the "Authentic Civil War Living Historian" or the lad or lass striving to be or become one.
Not saying it is the case here, but sometimes newer posters are to the far left of the F/M/C/P/H/A Paradigm who just "like" the perceived status and selg given pat-on-the-back of being associated with the AC Forum in name if not Hobby segment.

At any rate, these tensions and dynamics have been with us here since, what 1999? And if there still is an AC Forum in 2009 or 2029, IMHO will still be having these discussions and differences of opinions, vision, and mission.

Working through these differences of variying but similar Mental Pictures and personal Visions, as well as Mission, is what keeps the AC Forum a value, a resource, and a vibrant entity.
Making it "for beginners in mind," ultimately makes it... well, to be blunt, like "other boards." (And we have fought wars over that.)

And of course, others' mileage will vary....
(Note the intended use of appropriate emoticons here: ;) :) :)

Curt
A civilian when not a soldier himself Mess

[csabugler]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Hello, Rocky. Hope you ladys' adventure in "the hobby" works out. Mine is on sabatical of late, but if you truely follow the doctrine of the authentic community you will get a fantastic benefit not mentioned here yet. She will have her story of the event to tell, you will have yours, and you can share them with each other! I have hated over the years getting home from a great event and having no one to talk to about it. Fellow workers don't care, and the non-hobby spouse will pretend to listen a bit. But you actaully have a pard to talk to! Good luck with it. Stick to Mrs. Lawson lick glue! (pine tar, maybe?)
One suggestion I would make is to utilize the search function before you throw a question out. Folks here do get a little testy at times about a question that has been covered in the past repeatedly, or has the look of an "authenticity challenged" sender (whether there are or not).
Just a suggestion.
Again, good luck.

[Caleb Benefield]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Rocky,
I would be glad to help, I am a authentic reenactor and there is nothing wrong with getting you girlfriend involved no matter what some people on here may say. My girlfriend has been in reenacting as long as I have and she knows her stuff better then most. I will ask her for a list and maybe we can help you out.

Sgt. Caleb Benefield
48th Alabama Co. C
Possum Skinners Mess

[coastaltrash]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Rocky,
Since I was mentioned in the thread I felt it would help for me to comment on it here. I did not have to bring a girlfriend into the hobby, lucky for me, and unknown to me when I introduced myself, mine was in the hobby. I met her at Picketts Mill in 2001. When she and I began to date in 2005 it became pretty obvious that for us to do this hobby we enjoy together, we really needed to do the hobby together. She and I attend most of the same events, and most of the time, see each other for very little during that period of time. I don't bother her, and she doesn't bother me. About the only time our paths crossed at an event was when Pat Craddock and Brian Hicks brought her my masonic and personal property at Outpost and told her I died at the Battle of Baton Rouge. When I research for events, she researches the events, even if she isn't going. Anyone going to Shiloh in 2009? Anyone want to guess who went with me to track down the commander of the 6th Mississippi's tombstone? Yup, Liz did. Anyone ever wonder who help with the commissary for Donelson, Vicksburg and Outpost III? Yup, she did that too. She's about as involved as I am, and it works.

If your girlfriend isn't as "into it" as you are, buy a dress from Sutler row, and go with what Troy said. I was told a few times "Anything that's worth doing, is worth doing right" so take that for what you will.

Don't flake out and buy cheap stuff. Think of it like your uniform...actually think of it better than your uniform, because it costs twice as much. Easily.

Also, other good couples that actively reenact together are Pat and Carrie Craddock, Kim and Paul Caudell and Matt and Erin (sp?) Caldwell. Funny, all four women have terrible taste in men, and a huge sense of humor. Thank the Lord.

[Matt Caldwell]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Funny, all four women have terrible taste in men, and a huge sense of humor. Thank the Lord.

I dont know what you are talking about. I know hundreds of ladies who would let their husbands get away with cheeky chops. :wink_smil I met my wife through reenacting back in 2000 and havent looked back even though her teaching keeps her from events any more. Since graduation, no more chops for me thanks to corporate America :cry_smile

[coastaltrash]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Dang Caldwell, at least she and I look entertained in this picture!

[Matt Caldwell]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Dang Caldwell, at least she and I look entertained in this picture!

Well it was a Sunday at Picketts Mill in 2004 after a weekend of hot hell. I am sure you remember it. The fellows marched and marched and fought, while the ladies (refugees) ran and ran and ran from scorpions and us. We were ready for cold beer and a nice soft bed, thus, a lackluster pose.

[GreencoatCross]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Matt, that's probably one of my favorite pictures from Pickett's Mill. That event truly was hell, and if my girl at the time was anywhere near out of energy I'm sure I would have had a comparable photo to share.

Your expressions sum it up....and I can see your undies.

[Cottoncarder]

Rocky,
One of the best benefits to having a spouse or significant other in the hobby is that you'll never have to beg, barter or steal away the time to do what you love to do. Count yourself blessed that she is interested in pursuing this.

I saw two very long faces after Oakley Tactical at the designated eatery the weekend before last and when I asked what was troubling them the response from one was that his wife was mad because he couldn't call her when she expected it due to the fact we were out in the middle of nowhere. The other poor fellow’s girlfriend called him an outright liar about where he was! I have seen this type of thing far too many times and feel very blessed my other half‘s passion and dedication to this hobby is just as strong as mine. We don't see much of each other at events, but like others have already pointed out, we sure have a lot to talk about afterwards and the afterglow can go on for days!:D

Your lady is in very good and solid hands with Mrs. Lawson. Count your blessings there too.

[BigRonFH]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Hank has given you a good base for the material needs your friend will need.
Although a bit "snarky"..the gentleman that didn't leave his name suggested/implied a mainstream event.

I would suggest a combination of both. Once she has all the BASIC clothing, and I would HIGHLY suggest trying to borrow her some appropriate clothing, find her a mentor, and let her take her to a main stream event. Let her stay in a small tent by herself, have minimal belongings, IE. tin wash bowl, chamber pot (not completely necessary) bedding, non-refrigerated food supply and a bucket for water. This would give her a very good practice session for civilians at their most extreme.
As Hank mentioned, with the authentic civilians there is a very wide gamut; everything from misplaced persons, carrying everything they need, to finery in a historical house.
If you attend with her at the mainstream event, pointing out the good, and she can live with minimal supplies at that event, she will do fine with authentic civilians. Everyone has to start somewhere. The most important thing is that she have the correct mind set for where she is and why she's in the hobby. It should be because she likes history and wants to relive it AND likes you as well :)

BTW....where are you located..? There are many ladies on this forum that would be happy to mentor her if she decides she wants to be active in the hobby.

Best Regards
Vivian Murphy

Thank you, Vivian, for a KIND manner in helping this young man. IMHO, I think it is great that she'd be interested enough to consider attending with him and sharing his passion for the hobby. When some people answer honest requests for help with snarky remarks and snide comments, it only serves to scare people off from a wonderful experience.

Ron Hopkins
Co. D, 13th US

[csabugler]

Re: Campaigner needing help

Spinster-woman, Clean out your PM folder, I have "binnis" to discuss with you.:D