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Godey's Lady's Book
Date: April, 1862
THE WORTH OF WOMANLY CHEERFULNESS.
WE come in contact with a most singular fact, which at first is not easy of analysis, that people are intent on playing the miserable, as if there were a virtue in it. The real solution is that it is an exhibition of selfishness, for no one is habitually cheerful who does not think more of others than himself. Multitudes appear to be studious of something which makes them unhappy; for unhappiness excites attention, and attention is supposed to inspire interest, and interest comparison. You have seen a person of very robust and corpulent habits, so robust as ought to excite perpetual gratitude for joyous health, sometimes putting on the airs of an invalid, for no reason in the world but to draw out towards him some expression of affectionate concern, and so gratify his self conceit. That very mood which in children is called being "naughty," for which they are whipped and sent to bed, in young people is dignified with the name of "low spirits," for which they are to be petted and pitied; whilst in elderly people it is known as "nervousness," for which it is expected they should be humored to the full tension of moral patience.
If we speak of the mistakes of good and pious men, what shall we say by way of commending that sweet cheerfulness by which a good and sensible woman diffuses the oil of gladness in the proper sphere of home. The best specimens of heroism in the world were never gazetted. They play their role in common life, and their reward is not in the admiration of spectators, but in the deep joy of their own conscious thoughts. It is easy for a housewife to make arrangements for an occasional feast; but let me tell you what is greater and better amid the weariness and cares of life; the troubles, real and imaginary, of a family; the many thoughts and toils which are requisite to make the family home of thrift, order, and comfort; the varieties of temper and crosslines of taste and inclination which are to be found in a large householdto maintain a heart full of good nature and a face always bright with cheerfulness, this is a perpetual festivity.
We do not mean a mere superficial simper, which has no more character in it than the flow of a brook, but that exhaustless patience, and selfcontrol, and kindness, and tact which spring from good sense and brave purposes. Neither is it the mere reflection of prosperity, for cheerfulness, then, is no virtue. Its best exhibition is in the dark background of real adversity. Affairs assume a gloomy aspect, poverty is hovering about the door, sickness has already entered, days of hardship and nights of watching go slowly by, and now you see the triumphs of which we speak.
When the strong man has bowed himself, and his brow is knit and creased, you will see how the whole life of a household seems to hang on the frailer form, which, with solicitudes of her own, passing, it may be, under the "sacred primal sorrow of her sex," has an eye and an ear for every one but herself, suggestive of expedients, hopeful in extremities, helpful in kind words and affectionate smiles, morning, noon, and night, the medicine, the light, the heart of a whole household.
God bless that bright, sunny face! says many a heart before me, as he recalls that one of mother, wife, sister, daughter, which has been to him all that my words have described.
Some things are timeless.:wink_smil
Date: April, 1862
THE WORTH OF WOMANLY CHEERFULNESS.
WE come in contact with a most singular fact, which at first is not easy of analysis, that people are intent on playing the miserable, as if there were a virtue in it. The real solution is that it is an exhibition of selfishness, for no one is habitually cheerful who does not think more of others than himself. Multitudes appear to be studious of something which makes them unhappy; for unhappiness excites attention, and attention is supposed to inspire interest, and interest comparison. You have seen a person of very robust and corpulent habits, so robust as ought to excite perpetual gratitude for joyous health, sometimes putting on the airs of an invalid, for no reason in the world but to draw out towards him some expression of affectionate concern, and so gratify his self conceit. That very mood which in children is called being "naughty," for which they are whipped and sent to bed, in young people is dignified with the name of "low spirits," for which they are to be petted and pitied; whilst in elderly people it is known as "nervousness," for which it is expected they should be humored to the full tension of moral patience.
If we speak of the mistakes of good and pious men, what shall we say by way of commending that sweet cheerfulness by which a good and sensible woman diffuses the oil of gladness in the proper sphere of home. The best specimens of heroism in the world were never gazetted. They play their role in common life, and their reward is not in the admiration of spectators, but in the deep joy of their own conscious thoughts. It is easy for a housewife to make arrangements for an occasional feast; but let me tell you what is greater and better amid the weariness and cares of life; the troubles, real and imaginary, of a family; the many thoughts and toils which are requisite to make the family home of thrift, order, and comfort; the varieties of temper and crosslines of taste and inclination which are to be found in a large householdto maintain a heart full of good nature and a face always bright with cheerfulness, this is a perpetual festivity.
We do not mean a mere superficial simper, which has no more character in it than the flow of a brook, but that exhaustless patience, and selfcontrol, and kindness, and tact which spring from good sense and brave purposes. Neither is it the mere reflection of prosperity, for cheerfulness, then, is no virtue. Its best exhibition is in the dark background of real adversity. Affairs assume a gloomy aspect, poverty is hovering about the door, sickness has already entered, days of hardship and nights of watching go slowly by, and now you see the triumphs of which we speak.
When the strong man has bowed himself, and his brow is knit and creased, you will see how the whole life of a household seems to hang on the frailer form, which, with solicitudes of her own, passing, it may be, under the "sacred primal sorrow of her sex," has an eye and an ear for every one but herself, suggestive of expedients, hopeful in extremities, helpful in kind words and affectionate smiles, morning, noon, and night, the medicine, the light, the heart of a whole household.
God bless that bright, sunny face! says many a heart before me, as he recalls that one of mother, wife, sister, daughter, which has been to him all that my words have described.
Some things are timeless.:wink_smil
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