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DAILY CONSTITUTIONALIST [AUGUSTA, GA], April 27, 1864, p. 4, c. 1
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Scenes in the Market.
The man who claims to be a phrenologist can pass an hour very advantageously by attending the market very early in the morning, and studying attentively the various shades of expression seen in the faces of those around him. In spite of the zealous exertions of the Conscript Bureau, all sorts of conditions of men will be found congregated there, representing the different nations of the earth, while their disjointed conversations resembles a second Babel more than anything else. By the time one has strolled through the market house, these fragmentary dialogues have become so tangled together that it becomes a hard thing to answer any proposed question definitely. We give a specimen of the general impression produced:
“Cup of coffee, Uncle Jack; hand me one of them crackers. I’m in a hurry.”
“That’s so; never see sich small eggs since the Lord made me; ‘spect they’ll be a dollar a piece, and then—“
“Knapp didn’t own the mare, leastways, he warn’t a going to run her; he belongs to meetin, he does, and—“
“You’d orter seen him put out. Maxwell had his eyes on him, and the durn fool nigger, he—“
“Hadn’t any mutton, marm, or I’d have sent it up ‘torectly. I can let you have a piece of—“
“Such a lovely bonnet; she wore it to Church last Sunday, and Miss Jane, she—“
“Got drunk as blazes. Somebody hollered, out, Ap-peal! and he just—“
“Refused five dollar bills, unless he could take off 33 1/3 per cent., a regular swindle, and reminds me of—“
“Whoa! mule! what er yer tryen to do now. I’ll knock yer inter the middle of—“
“Dunder unt Blixen; I hafe got der baper orl right. Mein Gott, vot a peoples! Der tuyfel! I shoost makes a leetle monish, and dey vants to sent me to der—“
“Blingen on the Rhine. I wish they’d repeat it every evening. I’ts [sic] two months since—“
“Mother said that ten dollars a yard was more than she could give. Such calico was only fit for—“
“The 6th Alabama Regiment too, Holy Moses! didn’t they catch it. And when the fight was over we—“
“Sold them sassingers cheaper than—“
“Oui, Monsieur; ze garcon he have been ze robbaire. He say I ave ze cheeken, non, jamais, Monseiur. Sacre? I tell him—“
“Them two dogs, they kin catch more rats in ten minutes than—“
“Printers who get a dollar and a quarter a thousand, in these times, why they can—“
“Steal shortning out ‘en a woman’s biscuit, unless it was put in lengthways. He used to—“
“Pray without ceasing; it is the only thing to save the Confederacy; we must have absolute reliance in—“
“That bob tailed horse, see here; he was spavined when you—“
“Went to conscript camp and staid there about a week and then—“
“The scene’s would’nt shove, half of the actors was tight, and nobody knew anything about the play. It was awful, and then—“
“It was the sweetest baby you ever saw, pretty blue eyes and she had on a—“
“Barrel shirt marked in big letters “Deserted on post,” and they marched him up to—“
“That bar room! you’re a fool for goin there. I tuk a drink there Tuesday, and it made me—“
“Shout Hallelujah! yes sir, dar was seven of ‘em converted that day, an old Aunt Phillis, she—“
“Ain’t got no shalots, sold ‘em all mor’en and hour ago I want—“
“Great news! Great news!! Morgan has taken lost of prisoners, Longstreet’s corps is in motion and—“
“Get out o’ that, yer blunderin vagabone.—Great news, sir; Here’s yer Adverthiser. Only twenty-foive cints. Och! my darlint, hould on till I’m afther givin yees the change. G-r-e-a-t News!”
If amid this mimic Pandemonium, the stranger does not feel himself amply repaid for the trouble of early rising, by the sights and sounds invariably seen and heard at our city market, he is certainly one of those who find it hard to appreciate a good thing, and in future ought to sleep until he finds every one besides himself has returned from the market.
Vicki Betts
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Scenes in the Market.
The man who claims to be a phrenologist can pass an hour very advantageously by attending the market very early in the morning, and studying attentively the various shades of expression seen in the faces of those around him. In spite of the zealous exertions of the Conscript Bureau, all sorts of conditions of men will be found congregated there, representing the different nations of the earth, while their disjointed conversations resembles a second Babel more than anything else. By the time one has strolled through the market house, these fragmentary dialogues have become so tangled together that it becomes a hard thing to answer any proposed question definitely. We give a specimen of the general impression produced:
“Cup of coffee, Uncle Jack; hand me one of them crackers. I’m in a hurry.”
“That’s so; never see sich small eggs since the Lord made me; ‘spect they’ll be a dollar a piece, and then—“
“Knapp didn’t own the mare, leastways, he warn’t a going to run her; he belongs to meetin, he does, and—“
“You’d orter seen him put out. Maxwell had his eyes on him, and the durn fool nigger, he—“
“Hadn’t any mutton, marm, or I’d have sent it up ‘torectly. I can let you have a piece of—“
“Such a lovely bonnet; she wore it to Church last Sunday, and Miss Jane, she—“
“Got drunk as blazes. Somebody hollered, out, Ap-peal! and he just—“
“Refused five dollar bills, unless he could take off 33 1/3 per cent., a regular swindle, and reminds me of—“
“Whoa! mule! what er yer tryen to do now. I’ll knock yer inter the middle of—“
“Dunder unt Blixen; I hafe got der baper orl right. Mein Gott, vot a peoples! Der tuyfel! I shoost makes a leetle monish, and dey vants to sent me to der—“
“Blingen on the Rhine. I wish they’d repeat it every evening. I’ts [sic] two months since—“
“Mother said that ten dollars a yard was more than she could give. Such calico was only fit for—“
“The 6th Alabama Regiment too, Holy Moses! didn’t they catch it. And when the fight was over we—“
“Sold them sassingers cheaper than—“
“Oui, Monsieur; ze garcon he have been ze robbaire. He say I ave ze cheeken, non, jamais, Monseiur. Sacre? I tell him—“
“Them two dogs, they kin catch more rats in ten minutes than—“
“Printers who get a dollar and a quarter a thousand, in these times, why they can—“
“Steal shortning out ‘en a woman’s biscuit, unless it was put in lengthways. He used to—“
“Pray without ceasing; it is the only thing to save the Confederacy; we must have absolute reliance in—“
“That bob tailed horse, see here; he was spavined when you—“
“Went to conscript camp and staid there about a week and then—“
“The scene’s would’nt shove, half of the actors was tight, and nobody knew anything about the play. It was awful, and then—“
“It was the sweetest baby you ever saw, pretty blue eyes and she had on a—“
“Barrel shirt marked in big letters “Deserted on post,” and they marched him up to—“
“That bar room! you’re a fool for goin there. I tuk a drink there Tuesday, and it made me—“
“Shout Hallelujah! yes sir, dar was seven of ‘em converted that day, an old Aunt Phillis, she—“
“Ain’t got no shalots, sold ‘em all mor’en and hour ago I want—“
“Great news! Great news!! Morgan has taken lost of prisoners, Longstreet’s corps is in motion and—“
“Get out o’ that, yer blunderin vagabone.—Great news, sir; Here’s yer Adverthiser. Only twenty-foive cints. Och! my darlint, hould on till I’m afther givin yees the change. G-r-e-a-t News!”
If amid this mimic Pandemonium, the stranger does not feel himself amply repaid for the trouble of early rising, by the sights and sounds invariably seen and heard at our city market, he is certainly one of those who find it hard to appreciate a good thing, and in future ought to sleep until he finds every one besides himself has returned from the market.
Vicki Betts